Regardless of your perspective about the war in Gaza, and regardless of whether you are familiar with all of the details, war is war and it wears on one’s mental health.
We live in a diverse community of residents, some of whom are Palestinian and Israeli. It is torture when you are so far away from family during a conflict. Those of us who are not Israeli or Palestinian, also watch from afar the horrors unfolding. Though we are removed from the situation, our humanity keeps us deeply connected to it and affected by it in other ways.
Some lash out in violence and initiate hate crimes. Some peacefully protest. Either way, our mental health can be taxed. In such a volatile climate, we need to find people we can safely discuss our pain with.
Some do not understand the process and management of mental health and its importance in our lives.
Some generations have grown up stuffing feelings, avoiding emotional conflict, and not prioritizing regular discussions and self-check-ins to make sure their mental health is in good form.
Many still don’t get it. Discussing your pain, however often, is a coping and healing method in order to attain and sustain peace and happiness. It is healthy to discuss your feelings about whatever troubles you regularly experience so you can move forward every single day.
Pain comes up daily and by moments. Since it is hard to regulate our newsfeeds, it’s almost impossible to escape. If you happen to be someone who was “gaslit” about your feelings or shamed into being called crazy because you discuss your feelings, now is the time to find that “safe” person you can talk to and rant without an argument ensuing or acts of hate resulting from the Gaza conflict.
If you are one of those people who have done the gaslighting, it’s time to become more self-aware. It’s time to stop running from your own personal desire to sweep feelings under the rug or minimize their importance.
Oak Park has a great resource in Thrive Counseling Center of Oak Park. Thrive, located at 120 Marion St. 708-383-7500, has been offering 24/7 crisis management, youth and group counseling, and offers an adult trauma clinic.
I reached out to Rivkah Fallert who formerly lived in and grew up in the area where there is now war. Her profound perspective on the topic of managing mental health under circumstances of war, regardless of whether you are in the midst of the conflict or removed from it, was best expressed in her simple explanation about actions.
“The difference between impulse and spontaneity is that impulse is destructive and spontaneity is not,” she said.
I felt as though that one sentence was metamorphic. Mental health can cause us to be impulsive with our words or actions, which is destructive. But we have a tendency to confuse it with spontaneity and excuse ourselves from being destructive at times by reasoning that we were just being spontaneous. But the two actions are vastly different. One causes or perpetuates wars and hate, and the other can be an act of love. Not gaslighting someone, not thinking someone is crazy just because they address their feelings, but instead giving someone a hug to connect with them or help them diffuse their pain.
As you watch the war in Gaza unfold, hear details, and potentially escalate, make sure to do a mental health check-in with yourself and your loved one.
EL Serumaga is a resident of River Forest.
