Bitter? Over the continued needless destruction of sports as per the shortsighted plan? The greed-based dissolution of the World Series? You bet I’m bitter. You?
Now that we’ve identified the indisputable — TV spends 10 times more to make telecasts 10 times worse — what do we do about it?
Well, how much can you take? This week has been another challenge to suffer what once wouldn’t have been tolerated as a matter of common sense — ours and theirs. Let us travel it together, starting with the benignly stupid.
Sunday, during CBS’ Commanders-Giants, a conversation among Andrew Catalon, Tiki Barber and Matt Ryan: “It feels like fall,” to which came the reply, “It does.” Yes, odd weather for Oct. 22, a fall afternoon.
Saturday, NBC dispatched five panelists to Iowa for the Minnesota-Iowa pregame. Not a word spoken was worth hearing, not a penny worth spending.
Monday, Game 7 of Astros-Rangers. Fox telecast-wrecker John Smoltz revealed this inside info about Max Scherzer: “He’s going to want to go as long as he can to give his team the best chance to succeed.”
Sunday night’s Dolphins-Eagles on NBC included a bonus absurdity beyond three hours of Cris Collinsworth’s know-it-all hindsight. After Miami’s Jerome Baker scored with an interception, NBC’s graphics gave Miami’s time of possession as “0:00,” total yards on “the drive” as “0” and number of plays as “0.”
Texas’ Adolis Garcia vandalized the ALCS on behalf of Adolis Garcia and Rob Manfred’s pathetic, pandering mandate to make baseball more attractive to kids by emphasizing players’ immodest behavior for the future good of what now barely qualifies as sports.
Not even Monday’s Game 7 could move Garcia to place his team over his nauseating, counterproductive self-importance as he stood at the plate to admire his blast, thus turning a double off the wall into a single, perhaps in postseason tribute to Giancarlo Stanton.
The worst part was that Smoltz, another assembly-line panderer who would rather insult a national audience than offend an unmitigated fool, was good with it! His take: “There was no guarantee that he was going to get a double.” But Garcia saw to it that there would be no chance!
And on the postgame show, classless clown David Ortiz said he, too, had no trouble with Garcia’s styling over substance, to which Derek Jeter, who played as if big games actually counted, blankly stared straight ahead.
So Smoltz would’ve been good with Garcia’s inexcusable selfishness had Smoltz been pitching?
But darn if it didn’t happen, again. Game 7 of Phillies-Diamondbacks.
With Arizona up, 3-2, bottom of the fifth, Bryce Harper hit one deep to left-center. When last seen on TBS, Harper was frozen in the batter’s box, as if he’d hit it 550 feet instead of just short of the warning track, where it was caught. Now it was Ron Darling’s turn to ignore diminished-effort big-league/big-game baseball that will pay Harper $330 million — not enough to run to first in a Game 7.
But a whole lot less now costs a whole lot more.
Smoltz remains preoccupied with “count leverage,” as if we can’t weigh 0-and-2 from a full count.
Fox gasbag and empty-expression parrot Greg Olsen on Sunday traced a Steelers touchdown to the Rams defense’s “lack of eye discipline.” An “absence of eye discipline” is how Indiana scored against Rutgers on Saturday, according to Big Ten Network’s Matt Millen.
CBS’ Catalon might’ve been helpful during the Giants telecast had he given the yards gained and new line of scrimmage following a first down as opposed to the copy-machine hollow, “They move the sticks.”
With class lost to the profane, one was left to wonder whether Fox scoured the stands in Columbus in search of that Ohio State fan with a large F-word printed on his shirt, or did Fox give him the shirt to wear then show to the camera? Legit question, these days.
And regardless of the score or circumstances, TV continues to jump at every chance to replay any conceited fool flexing his muscles or pounding his chest for just such a cheap and easy reward.
CBS’ Giants telecast included this graphic: “Atlanta 16, T. Bay 13, end fourth quarter” plus a reminder that, “Positive yardage is so important on first down.” QBs no longer simply “run” for X number of yards, they “use their legs.”
And CBS, tapping into the fourth quarter of Browns-Colts, was able to show the NFL’s most identifiable and perhaps cherished helmet — the Colts’ blue and white horseshoe — swapped for — what else? — an all-black model.
NFL pregame shows continue as lesser alternatives to power failures. Sunday, Fox’s Tom Rinaldi landed an exclusive chat with Ravens QB Lamar Jackson, at which time he spent most of his time telling Jackson how great he is.
Fox’s Brock Huard, during Utah-USC, gave credit for “making tackles in open space.” Huard’s boothmate, Jason Benetti, referred to a fumble as “putting the ball on the ground,” while ESPN’s Chris Fowler noted that Duke did a good job “gaining positive yardage.”
Promos for MLB’s postseason stressed moving images of players celebrating themselves — and a near brawl — rather than playing winning team baseball. Perhaps that came on Manfred’s kids-friendly orders.
And CBS’ college football “highlights” Saturday included a Texas running back scoring from the 1-yard-line, as if there was nothing better to show, like how Texas reached the 1.
But in another week loaded and larded with what’s killing our sports, my favorite came in Miami-UNC on ABC/ESPN, where a player was flagged, post-whistle, for fighting with an opponent for possession of a small, waist-tucked hand towel.
Nothing fine about Odell antics
The NFL fined Odell Beckham Jr. again Monday, this time for $33,317 for a pair of personal fouls in Week 6 vs. the Titans.
In March, Woody Johnson on Beckham: “The fact that Odell Beckham, a man of his character and quality and ability would consider us and wants to be with us … If that’s what he wants it’s pretty much a compliment.”
Small wonder Johnson inherited the Jets.
Can this be the same Rick Pitino who invited steady scandal to Louisville basketball? Since landing at St. John’s, media have anointed him “The Great Redeemer.” Fascinating.
One wonders if Rob Manfred knows enough about baseball or even cares that the postseason on his watch has become a TV scavenger hunt.
Salzberg schools WFAN’s Roberts
WFAN’s “Promo Code Evan” Roberts may not have the courage to tell his bosses he refuses to make suckers of his audience by shilling gambling sites, but he had the gall to suggest that Brian Daboll displays “cowardly” tendencies. Russ Salzberg’s “Get a Load of This” YES podcast gave Roberts a lesson — spanking — in responsible word usage.
A note here about how closed captions changed the Dick Butkus Award into “the butt-kiss award,” inspired former sports editor Dick Klayman to recall the time Jorge Posada appeared as “Horse Shave Posada.”