Confused about dairy, gluten, allergies and all the stuff you read about on your Instagram feed? So was I.

Put on 27 kg while pregnant? So did I.

Had a major natural water-birth plan but took the epidural in the end? So did I.

Feeling crushed that your baby isn’t an experimental foodie like you? So was I.

Thought you had no breast milk and were starving your baby? So did I.

Followed baby-led weaning (BLW) religiously but your broccoli-munching angel suddenly stopped eating all veggies for a six-month stretch? So did mine.

This is why you bought this book! It’s been meticulously planned to guide you through the confusing waters and continually changing currents of what to feed your baby and still be in compliance with your paediatrician, grandmum, social media feed, mom bloggers and, most importantly, although we sometimes do think of them last – your BABY!

First foods, first travel, first nut, first meal on their own – it’s really amazing to watch these little creatures embark on their culinary journey.

But this is also when a lot of projection of your ideals/ego happens. We all want little baby gourmets eating with chopsticks by the tender age of ten months. Great advice from Michelle Obama’s mum: Raise the kid you’ve got! My daughter Zanskar ate only fried bhindi and chapati for a year. Did I take it personally? What do you think! I’m a chef, for God’s sake!

But it’s not all doom and gloom! Watching little Z plant tomato seeds or dig her fingers deep into homemade pizza dough or beg for a spoon of ghee or 80 per cent Swiss dark chocolate or devour a passion fruit have been some of my most treasured moments of being a mum.

Especially being a Modern Indian Woman (kind of like the Nouvelle Indian cuisine we make at our catering company Gaia Gourmet), there is utter confusion between what your mum says (or rather grandmum – my mum didn’t know any of the traditional things I was so excited to incorporate into Zanu’s diet) and all the Western books that only deal with how many butternut squash purées you can make in advance and stuff into your freezer.

I also realise that being guilted into sticking only to traditional foods and methods is silly in today’s global village. Being a chef and in a cross-cultural marriage (my husband Chris is from the Swiss Alps), as well as someone who is obsessed with flavours from all over the world (#babychia’s first sip of miso soup was enough to bring on tears of happiness), it is not possible for me to keep my kid in a chapati/khichadi bubble while she watches me wolf down dim sum and sushi.

Basically, as a chef and as a mum, I’m tired of baby food books that claim to know it all, claim to do it better than you, claim to have superior children than you because theirs follow their food philosophy. They either want you to become a hypno-birthing, have-an-orgasm-while-in-labour, water-birthing, placenta-eating moon goddess, or they want you to be a vaccine-pumping, trigger happy, antibiotic-guzzling, paranoid germophobe, flash-card flashing and baby-Einstein showing-off, Caesarian, helicopter mom.

This book says: Look, I don’t know it all and every baby is different. It is to remind you that this is your unique journey to discover what you both like to eat and cook, and to give you the tools and tricks you need, and all the recipes and nutritional hacks that make this journey fun.

We also have Sanchita Daswani, our certified paediatric nutritionist, who helped me navigate these very confusing waters that flow between our traditional foods, modern nutrition and how to combine the two. She provided the balance and explanations required to my sometimes gung-ho attitude and also was flexible enough to allow a little more leeway to her usually cautious approach, which I think has resulted in a beautifully balanced book.

As mums, it is our job to try our best and leave the rest up to the baby. Because whether you want to admit it or not, Baby really Knows Best. And when I say best, I mean the best of what the whole world has to offer while being true to time-tested wisdom and making sure that whatever baby (and you) eats is the best that you can afford, the freshest food you can get your hands on, consciously produced, safe to eat and fair to the people who made it. And this way, our small acts of cooking and eating shape much more than just our myopic obsession with what goes into that baby belly; it helps shape our whole world too!

I hope this book can make your journey with food a guilt-free adventure. While we tell you what the “ideal” meal is, there are also recipes that are here simply because they taste good! And because they are fun to eat. Whether you do spoon-feeding or baby-led-weaning or combination feeding, just remember what my mum said to me: No baby goes off to college wearing a bib, and still being spoon-fed and sleeping in the same bed as their parents. So, relax! And let them eat cake at birthday parties, for God’s sake!

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A chef mom’s manifesto

I’m a chef and a mom. I’m not a nutritionist (that’s why we have Sanchita to give you all the vital nutritional information and to check the recipes). What I have developed since having a baby is an intuitive sense of how the enjoyment of food and flavour closely ties in with what’s good for your baby (and your whole family) and where and how it has been grown, made or processed. Below are some of the key principles I believe in.

The how, what, and when about food and eating

1. Go seasonal and local. Eating seasonal and local doesn’t have to be a sacrifice or boring. It means finding local artisans and producers. There are delicious and healthful treasures waiting around the corner!

2. Eat with all the senses. Hand your baby a lemon. Scratch the rind. Make her smell the citrusy aroma. Squeeze a drop of juice into her mouth. Watch her scrunch her little face.

3. Stock your pantry well. I can whip up amazing food and snacks anytime not because I’m a chef, but because I have a well-stocked pantry.

4. Eat the rainbow. Once you are done with the first few weeks of introducing one food at a time, offer all colours, varieties, textures and each food group.

5. Connect the dots by looking at what’s on your plate and connecting with who grew it or made it, who cooked it and which natural elements helped.

6. Have a blast. Eating a meal together is a generous, fun, collective act. Include the baby in the fun, from shopping to cooking to eating.

7. Baby knows best. It is your job to offer food at the right time and according to your schedule, and it is the baby’s job to figure out how much and what she wants to eat.

8. Your kitchen isn’t a restaurant. Give variety but not unlimited choices at meals. Doesn’t like her meal? Give her a familiar, safe alternative or a glass of milk. Try with the next meal!

9. No force-feeding! Force-feeding kids disregards their satiation point. Let them learn to follow those internal commands of when to stop.

10. Don’t bribe, distract or threaten. Okay, I’m guilty of all three! But not often.

11. Model behaviour. Whatever we do, our kids will follow. So make sure you practice what you preach.

12. Stick to some kind of schedule. Having a meal plan and knowing the day’s routine is a great way to maintain your sanity and keep a bit of discipline.

Excerpted with permission from Baby Knows Best: Chef Chinu’s Guide to Feeding Your Little One, Shilarna Vaze, HarperCollins India.