You know Michelle Yeoh. She’s the Oscar-winning star of movies like Tomorrow Never Dies, Crazy Rich Asians, and Everything, Everywhere, All At Once — a pretty big deal.

And as she promotes her next role in one of the biggest movies of the year, Wicked, Michelle has talked in detail about the feelings of “failure” she experienced over being unable to have children.

During a conversation about infertility struggles on BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour on Nov. 18, Michelle recalled her strong desire to have kids during her first marriage to Sir Dickson Poon, the Hong Kong business tycoon she wed in 1988.

Michelle said that the hope to grow a big family was “very clear” in her marriage to Dickson, leading her to seek fertility treatment to “aid in the process.” But looking back, she recalled the pain and defeat she experienced with each cycle they failed to conceive.

Michelle said her inability to have kids was the “main factor” in her divorce from Dickinson in 1992. Now, she urges younger couples to have serious conversations about kids and family planning “right at the beginning” of the relationship to hopefully avoid “a lot of hurt” later down the line.

“You also have to understand, these are conversations that you really have to have with yourself and be able to look ahead and think, Yes, we love each other very much now, but in 10 years or 20 years, I still can’t give him the family that he craves for,” she said.

Having previously said that not having kids of her own is the “biggest sadness” in her life, Michelle opened up about overcoming the heartbreak and finally being able to stop holding herself accountable.

In 2004, Michelle met motor racing executive Jean Todt in Shanghai, and today, the pair are happily married. What’s more, she recently became a grandmother to her stepson’s child.