Let’s face it — March Madness isn’t for everyone. Sure, for some, it’s all about having the perfect bracket, but for me, it’s just an excuse to rank the teams based on how cool their jerseys look. 

The real March Madness isn’t about basketball — it’s the daily battle of surviving the rest of the spring semester at Penn State. 

From unpredictable weather to group project meltdowns, the chaos is real. So, forget the basketball, here are some things you can rank at Penn State. 

Places to nap

Whether you’ve been fighting for space in the library or pulling all-nighters trying to understand what is going on in your math class, sometimes a nap is the only solution. 

Here are some nap spots you can rank based on comfort and quietness.

The side couch in the hub 

This couch is the definition of comfort. You sit down “just for a minute” to review your notes, and before you know it, you’re fast asleep. 

Library stacks

If you can get past the eerie silence and the lingering fear that someone might appear out of nowhere, the stacks are an elite napping location. 

Your bed

The undisputed best nap spot. No awkward positions, no backpacks as pillows — just pure, uninterrupted sleep. 

Homework excuses

Unfortunately, finals are creeping up, and the panic over unfinished assignments is setting in. If you’re not quite ready to face reality, here’s your chance to rank different excuses for missing homework. No guarantees they’ll work, but it’s worth a shot. 

“I lost my notes.” 

You started off strong, but after your seventh Netflix episode, your notes mysteriously disappeared and haven’t been seen since.

“I was sick.” 

Not with the flu, but with the overwhelming realization of what your final project entails. A necessary mental health break was taken.

“I got caught in the rain.”  

This one is a solid excuse if you ever need a way out of anything: blame it on the unpredictable weather. It’s never your fault it rained right when you had a quiz. 

Classmates

Group projects at Penn State are a game of survival. You never know which type of classmate you’re going to be stuck with. Here are the different classmates you can rank based on how much they ruin your project.

The “overly controlling project manager”

This person acts like they’re the CEO of a multi-million dollar startup — except the “company” is your group project, and its only employees are a bunch of sleep-deprived students who stopped caring five minutes in. 

The “I’ll help, but never do” person

They promise to “take care of the tough stuff” but always conveniently disappear when it’s time to do the work. But by the end of the project, they’ll still want their name on the final product.

The “I’ll show up and act like I did everything” person

This student will vanish from every meeting and then waltz in at the last minute, suddenly taking credit for all your hard work. 

They’ll even add a “here’s my input” slide in the presentation that’s 90% just them talking about how great they are. Classic move.

At the end of the day, surviving the spring semester is its own kind of tournament. It’s filled with last-minute cramming, questionable excuses and group project nightmares. 

So, whether you’re ranking your best naps or your worst classmates, just remember — May is almost here, and the finish line is in sight.

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