QUINCY − I’m about to turn 80, a “new decade” milestone that will be different from the others.
“Eighty seems old,” a longtime friend who’s already there said. We hope not.
Part of me happily thinks, “Wow, I’m 80.” Another part, realizing more fully that my time is limited, thinks, “Oh boy, you’re in trouble.”
For 40-plus years, I’ve been fortunate to have a different future portrayed. In writing this column, my role models have been an uplifting cast of characters. I’ve gotten to know and admire them with all their strengths and life experiences. I’ve described them as seniors, senior citizens, elderly, elders, older people. Many spoke proudly of their age status; a few said candidly that they were “old,” as a badge of achievement.
Week after week, I’ve looked forward to our interviews − how their lives played out, how they handled challenges, their pride in their achievements, the quiet wisdom of their life philosophies. I’ve been moved by how extraordinary the so-called ordinary can be.
I’ve met good neighbors, thoughtful citizens, kind hearts, critical observers, people devoted to their families and their communities. People no longer here like restaurateur Tillie Hajjar, of Weymouth, and supermarket cashier Louis San Miguel, of Braintree.
As I approach my 80s and hopefully my ninth decade, I sought advice. How will this be different than turning 70 or 60? What are the biggest surprises and the best strategies for aging well? What do you wish you had known about what lay ahead when you were 80?
“At 95, 80 seems a long time ago!” Lucia Hotton, of Weymouth, said. “At 80, I was involved in more activities. I had more interest in social connections and in my work with antiques. Probably more energy.
“I didn’t have concerns about what the future would bring.
“After 90, one sees the future shrinking. I’m still active to a degree, but my focus is more on staying close to friends and family. Fortunately, I’m in reasonably good health, which is a major plus.
“Also, I try to ignore petty annoyances and unpleasant situations. When you’re close to a century old, you try not to dwell on the negatives.”
Secrets of the super agers
Why and how do some people live so long and stay quite healthy, and does it run in families?
In its November issue, the AARP Bulletin has a special report on “Super Agers,” people 90 and older who age well, who have “the memory, thinking skills and zest for life of people decades younger.”
The report presents “7 secrets of the super agers”: they control blood pressure and blood sugar; talk to their friends often; avoid stress and prioritize mental health; prioritize sleep; protect their vision and hearing; push themselves a little physically in whatever exercise they do; and work their brains with crossword puzzles, Sudoku, reading, music, travel.
It also highlights Dr. Thomas Perls, a noted geriatrician at Boston University School of Medicine. Perls is founding director of the New England Centenarian Study and an international leader in human longevity.
In 1994, he came to Quincy to interview Alfred Benedetti, then 101, who was one of the earliest subjects in that study, which eventually led to the book “Living to 100: Lessons in Living to Your Maximum Potential at Any Age.”
Benedetti, a former shipyard worker, was often mentioned in The Patriot Ledger. He was active in city life, voted in 20 presidential elections, was always thinking about some issue or doing problem-solving, writing letters at age 100. Some 30 years later, he remains an inspiring example of aging well.
Also not forgotten is Norma Kent, of Abington, the first in-depth interview I did of an “elderly” person. She was 86 then in 1979 and I was amazed to learn that in her 20s she had been a missionary in China. Kent lived to be 94 and carried her joyful spirit of exploration and kindness to the end.
“I have to do something to try to change things”
At her 90th birthday party, Dot Anderson, of Weymouth, danced for two hours. Now 94, she is still very active physically, although a broken hip while skiing at age 90 made her more cautious.
“I felt that as I got older, I have to do something to try and change things,” she said.
In her late 80s and 90s, she has become politically active, working to preserve the environment, opposing the natural gas compressor station in North Weymouth, and trying not to drive as much.
In 2021, Rockland artist Donald Dacier, 88, told me: “You need to give something back and I’m doing it the best I can by teaching at the senior center as a volunteer.”
After he retired, he and his wife moved into a 55+ community and he began volunteering to teach painting at the senior center.
“I just love it,” he said. “It is just a very happy time to be there. Old people talk about everything and they become very close. It’s good for all of us.”
Bill Kole, former AP news editor, writes book on super aging
William J. Kole, a resident of Warwick, Rhode Island, and longtime editor, reporter and foreign correspondent for The Associated Press, has written “The Big 100: The New World of Super-Aging,” a look at extreme longevity.
Kole recently retired as the New England news editor for The Associated Press. The book examines “what we must do now to ensure our longer lives will truly be worth living.”
“You could see the love in Charlie’s eyes . . . “
Readers shared heart-warming reactions to last week’s column about 95-year-old Carmine “Charlie” Mazzulli, of Hingham, who cares full time for his son, Bob, 53, disabled due to a spinal cord injury.
Theresa Anderson emailed: “No story has touched me so deeply as the story about Mr. Mazzulli and his son Bob. Thank you for sharing their story with the Ledger readers. You could see the love in Charlie’s eyes for his son. He is a wonderful man. I hope they have a happy Thanksgiving. I will be thinking of them. God bless.”
A Weymouth reader wrote: “I want to tell you how much I enjoyed your column today about Carmine. Despite terrible illnesses and loss of loved ones, he manages to keep cheerful and doesn’t complain. I loved hearing about the cooking and recipes. I’ve never heard of celery salad. I think it’s from a different part of Italy than my family’s. Thanks so much for telling his story. As another 95-year-old. I envy his energy!”
And from Muriel Savoy Moloney, 93: “Charlie is certainly a special man. It is amazing what he is able to do and with a smile on his face.”
Reach Sue Scheible at [email protected].