“Criticism can feel like a failure, and my entire industry is based on criticism and praise. So you’ve got to become OK with it,” explains Emilia Clarke, in the latest episode of our Life Lessons video series. “If the movie’s no good and if the play gets terrible reviews, that’s fine – the making of it and getting to work with creative people is where I find my success.”
Clarke has been successful by anyone’s definition of the term. The 37-year-old actress, who found fame following her star turn as Daenerys Targaryen in Game of Thrones, has gone on to star in Me Before You opposite Sam Claflin and make her West End debut in an adaptation of Chekhov’s The Seagull in 2022. “I knew I wanted to be an actor when I was about two years old – I was a precocious nightmare!” she says. “I feel like my life would have been easier if I hadn’t [wanted to act], but I’ve never wanted to do anything else. I’ve thought many times, maybe I’ll give up… and I just can’t.”
For Clarke, any job or project is “always about the people involved” and she declares herself “completely director-led” when it comes to choosing work. “I just want to learn as much and from as many different people as I can,” she explains. In an industry that’s image-obsessed and where performances live and die by reviews, she’s remarkably level-headed. “I’ve always had low confidence and imposter syndrome. If you write down your achievements, that can really help. Do that every day, catalogue the mini-wins, and you can reverse the narrative in your head that you’re not good enough,” she advises.
When it comes to red-carpet events and photoshoots, she’s similarly sanguine. “Over the years, I’ve learnt the difference between what I appreciate and what suits me, which are sometimes two different things!” she says, laughing. “It’s why I love a photoshoot, because I get to wear amazing things and the photographer is always incredible and makes it work. But largely, I feel my most beautiful when I’m having a good time. I was with my friends at dinner last night, surrounded by people I love, and I felt really confident and beautiful – way more so than at any fancy event.”
Despite being a regular face at star-studded premieres and front-row at fashion week, Clarke’s ultimate form of self-care is spending time with her much-loved dachshund, Ted. “I think self-care is complicated,” she says. “I think it can mean lots of different things. If you’re a social person, it can mean going out and having fun; if you’re not, it can mean staying in with your tiny pet, like me. I think it just means quietening the world around you so that you can listen to yourself, whatever it is that you need.”
Clarke has, however, picked up a few fashion and beauty tips, both from industry professionals and those a little closer to home. “The best piece of fashion advice I’ve ever been given is to get stuff tailored,” she says. “I’m five foot two, and it’s a problem because nice clothes are usually designed for tall people. What we wear matters so much: it can transform your mood and make you feel different. I’ve also learnt a lot about beauty, mostly from my mum. She always told me not to pluck my eyebrows. They’re strong and they’re here to stay.”
Those personal relationships with family and friends have supported Clarke throughout her career, she explains. “My friends are my hype people, and the loves of my life. Friendships are the most underrated but impactful relationships you can have, and I value friendship above everything – apart from my dog. But that’s just a furry friendship, right?” She’s also empowered by music (Snoop Dogg and Beyoncé regularly feature on her playlists), watching a TV show she loves and her connections to other women. “I have compassion for other women, I want to help other women, I want to have choices and for other women to have choices, and I also want to be able to not have the answers,” she says. “I think that’s the crux point feminism is at now – a woman’s ability to be ambivalent. To not know fully who she is, what she likes and what she doesn’t. That’s what freedom feels like to me.”