18. The perfect cocktail is Maker’s Mark bourbon on ice with a dash of apple juice. I obnoxiously call this concoction an Alexa. (Also see: point 2.)

19. Your cringiest experiences will become your funniest stories.

20. Moths will inevitably savage your knitwear. Think of your cashmere as something you’re just borrowing from them and enjoy it while you can. It is a moth’s world – we just live in it.

21. Thou shalt not drunk text.

22. Please can somebody come up with one shoe size chart for the entire globe to adhere to? I think it would greatly lower emissions from all the returns people make based on the weird conversion lie-charts websites have.

23. How you decorate your home is up to you, and social media trends are an expensive trap. You have your best taste.

24. Nobody ever knows the lyrics to “Auld Lang Syne”, so here’s one to remember (plus, it’s a beautiful meditation on honouring times and friends gone by, and welcoming the future): “We two have paddled in the stream/From morning sun till dine/But seas between us broad have roared/Since auld lang syne.”

25. Only play “Hey Jude” at a party if you want it to end because there’s nowhere left to go after that.

26. Cottage cheese with pickles and hot sauce is delicious.

27. I regret remaining in a cat eye for as long as I did. I spent my 20s in heavy black eyeliner at a time when I needed the least amount of make-up on my face. It’s also not true that your looks decline as you age, I personally think I peaked around 31 (which is crazy because I’m 22).

28. Always send a thank you card.

29. Probably obvious but you don’t have to use make-up as it was intended – ie, lipstick for blusher, lip balm for a glossy lid, etc.

30. Never, ever smoke. Don’t even think about it. Just literally never even try one because it is fully not worth it. I wish I could go back in time and never have a cigarette. Except in Paris.

31. All young people are beautiful. My mother used to tell me this and I didn’t understand what she meant, but now I frequently find myself smiling at young people on the Tube just because I am struck by the loveliness of youth.