DEAR ABBY: My husband and I used to play in a band together. He played guitar, and I sang. He now has another female singer in his band, and I can hardly contain my feelings. In the beginning, he was invited into an existing band she was already in, and he accepted. But then, that band broke up and reformed, and he kept the girl in it. He knows how badly I have wanted to sing again. I tried endlessly to resurrect us as a duo or a starter band, but getting him to work with me was like pulling teeth.

I was a singer in my own right before him and since, but he has never been honest with me about why he doesn’t want me to perform with him again. This has affected my confidence so much I have virtually given up singing. It kills me that I’ve relinquished my artistic identity over this. The thing is, he’s just a local player — this is not the big time. He had his heyday years ago, and she’s just average. They don’t have a following or crowds lining up to see them.