When one thinks of the mafia, they think of Goodfellas, the Sopranos, and the Godfather trilogy. But Anthony Ruggiano Jr. lived that reality.

The name might be familiar, as his father, Anthony “Fat Andy” Ruggiano Sr. was a notable member of the Gambino family. His father officially became a part of the mafia in 1953, which was the year Anthony was born in East New York. His father became made or initiated into the mob that year by Albert Anastasia and was a special case since the books were closed, meaning the family was not taking any new members.

Anthony explained to the Mirror that when the books are closed, someone has to commit a murder or wait until a previous member dies to take their place. Albert made a case for Fat Andy since he had committed multiple murders for him. When the books were open again, Fat Andy proposed his friend Anthony “Tony Lee” Guerrieri as a member, and they put together a crew.

At age 13, Anthony found out who his father really was from the older men in the Ozone Park neighborhood (where he was raised). He was the first to find out before his younger siblings (a brother and a sister). But before that, Anthony always noticed there was something different about his father even when he didn’t know exactly what. In comparison to his uncles, his father didn’t come home every day at a certain time or leave at a specific time. Fat Andy would work certain days of the week, there would always be people in their home, and they never had to wait for tables when they went to restaurants.

Once Anthony realized who his father was and saw how favorably he was treated, he began to idolize his dad.

“I felt special then, because I started getting treated special. Now I’m in the neighborhood, the older guys are being nice to me. They’re taking me with them, you know. So I started feeling special, and I liked the feeling,” he said.

It wasn’t long until Anthony worked for his father after he got kicked out of school at 16. Anthony expressed how he wanted to be in the mob and how it was “great” being in the mafia because they had the keys to the city, as well as the “crazy money” he made. He said they also did whatever they wanted, went everywhere and didn’t have to wait in lines for clubs, for example.

But it wasn’t all glamor during his time with the mafia. He became addicted to drugs such as cocaine. But he went to treatment and has been sober for 36 years this coming January.

Anthony also went to jail three different times (1978, 1991 and 1996) for crimes such as robbery, gambling and RICO charges. Anthony spent a culmination of nearly 14 years in jail and left for good but for the last time on August 31, 2004.

When Anthony first got out, he got his first legitimate job as a truck driver even though he had never driven one before that moment. Although, he admitted he still had one foot in the mafia door at the time.

He began to get a “bad taste” in his mouth when the mafia kept all his father’s belongings after his death and stopped giving his mother money. Although they left him something to earn money while he was in prison, he said they “took everything.” Anthony explained how in the structure of the mob, when a soldier dies, his stuff such as illegal businesses goes to the captain. His father did not make captain before his death and the captain decided to keep everything.

Anthony said that he got a proposal to be made before he was arrested in 2005 for his brother-in-law’s murder and charged with another RICO and predicate acts of murder and gambling. He was an associate in the mafia, which is someone who works for the mob but is not a full-fledged member.

Anthony stated how the mafia began to shift but not for the better after his father, Tony Lee and John Gotti (who was the head of the Gambino family at the time) all died. His dad passed away in 1999, Tony died in 1993 and John in 2002 while serving a life sentence. Anthony had a strong relationship with all three. He shared an anecdote about John buying him a car after he finished treatment for his drug addiction.

The bad taste continued when he got arrested for the murder of his brother-in-law and when he needed $25,000 money for a lawyer, he received no help. An attorney doing legal work for Anthony, advised him that he needed to call the government since people “were going to throw him under the bus” with the murder. His co-defendants had alibis and Anthony didn’t since he was the last person seen with his brother-in-law when he drove him to his father’s club, Cafe Liberty, where he was killed.

It was during that time, he was on house arrest for a year and debating whether to cooperate with the government to save himself from going to prison again. It was a “tough” decision as Anthony didn’t want to disrespect his father, who would have despised him working with the government and FBI. Anthony eventually decided to cooperate and pled guilty to murder and got a suspended sentence at his sentencing.

After that, his life with the mafia ended. He later went on to attend school and become a counselor at a treatment center to help people. He has since dedicated his life to helping those recovering from addiction, which is one of the reasons he started his podcast The Reformed Gangsters.

As Anthony reflected on the good and the bad of being in the mafia, he stated how the life of a mobster may seem glamorous from the public perspective but that’s not the whole picture.

“The public sees only the glamor, but the reality of it, at the end of the day, it’s not so glamorous. Look what I gave up. I went to jail. The first time, my son was eight, I came out. He was 10. I went to jail. The second time, my son was 13. I got out. He was 21, my daughter was three. I got out when she was 11. I missed all those years,” he shared about his previous prison time.

He recalled a time when he was looking at photos with his daughter and there was a snapshot of her fourth birthday. His daughter noted that he wasn’t at that birthday party. He also talked about his relationship with his sister and admitted that it was “really bad in the beginning” when she learned the truth but now “it’s a lot better” than it was prior. While the relationship isn’t where he would like it to be, it doesn’t compare to his niece who “hates” him and “wants nothing to do with” him.

“People don’t understand. People don’t see what the effect it has on our families and our victims’ families, you know, people we killed,” he continued. “We killed people without even thinking about it. I had no conscience.”