The college home: a hallmark of the college experience. And now, a mandatory part of the St. Joe’s experience. For far too long, our university watched helplessly as juniors and seniors forfeited their unalienable right to rent overpriced, off-campus housing, so they finally took the choice away. This decision proves, once again, while you might not know exactly what you want, our glorious university does. So get ready to experience Philadelphia like you never have before because the local flora and fauna you will find in your new college home will both amaze you and puzzle scientists. Here are a few things to know about making the most out of your experience living off-campus:
Feng Shui (I don’t know what it means either):
Decoration is essential for any home, but especially a college one. It distracts from the cracks in the walls and the nails sticking out of the floor. You can choose some St. Joe’s classics, like the entire home decor aisle at Target, anything to do with Philly sports or keep it classy and dive into the Villanova dumpsters. My roommates and I went with the classic “I-found-this on-the-side-of-the-road” aesthetic, which always has visitors in awe. So, go ahead and hang your “Saturdays are for the Hawks” flag. It’s better than the giant yellow stain on the wall. But not by much.
Friends to Roommates to Enemies:
No matter how nice your home is, your roommates can turn any living situation into a nightmare. So make sure to go with someone whom you trust, understand and are willing to destroy your relationship with after three months of living together.
An Uphill Battle:
Living off-campus can come with questions about getting to class, especially if you’ve got a car and need a place to park it. Here’s one easy trick for you to always find parking: simply drive around in circles for 30-40 minutes and then park five streets away so you’re basically walking the same distance as if you walked from home. That $250 parking pass was an absolute steal! Personally, I hope they raise the price, because convenience this cheap feels like stealing.
Safe and Secure:
You live in a city, and things can happen. So make sure you’re ready for anything. My house has taken several precautions, such as acquiring our guard cat, Gec. She’s still scared of people, but with a few more years of training, she’ll be the perfect home defense.
Love Thy Neighbor:
It’s important to recognize that many of those who live near campus aren’t students at all. Make sure to respect and get to know your neighbors. For example, my next-door neighbors are a lovely older couple I talk with frequently. Just yesterday, they asked me to cry a little quieter at night. Will do, Mr. Johnson, will do!
Do the Dishes:
Dishes do NOT need to be soaked, no matter what you or your roommate say. Just put them in the dishwasher or wash them by hand. Dish detergent clings to food particles. You have no excuse. Seriously. Stop filling the sink.
Our Landlord and Savior:
When house hunting, make sure you find a dependable landlord. Around St. Joe’s, you have a pick of about three who’ve bought every single house within a 5-mile radius of Hawk Hill. But don’t worry, the choice here is easy since they’re all terrible. Except you, Derek, you’re amazing. Please don’t raise my rent again.