Although I’d always loved the idea of travelling and had been on holiday before, I had never done the full-blown traveller thing. I went straight from school to college, then from university to full-time employment. It never felt feasible for someone like me, from a working-class background, to take months off to go exploring and “find myself.”

But at the age of 28, after a breakup, the loss of a parent and working in a stressful news environment for seven years, I decided to quit my job, put my things into storage and embark on a two-month solo trip across America. I started in New York, did most of the East Coast, and then headed for Charleston, South Carolina.

For the first half of my trip, I stayed in a mixture of Airbnb and hostels, trying to save money where I could. The hostels offered great opportunities to meet people, but they were mostly tourists like me. The only Americans I’d interacted with at that time were either behind a counter or older couples who could afford a trip beyond state lines and had the holiday allowance to do so.

So when I reached the south, I decided to download Hinge. It’s not that I wanted to meet a man or that I thought it would last even if I did, but it seemed to be the most effective way to get to know the locals – fast. I advertised that I was British on my profile and mentioned some of the places I wanted to visit, outlining how long I’d be staying in the area for.

Within an hour of creating the account, I had more than 100 likes – something that just doesn’t happen in the UK. To my surprise, most of them were attractive, easy to talk to, and willing to meet up on short notice. I made a series of plans and worked them around my own tour of the city so that I didn’t miss out on anything.

The first date was with a guy named Brad*. He was quintessentially American: tall, tanned, with very white teeth. He told me to meet him at a bar on King Street around 7 pm. It was a particularly balmy night, and despite having showered just an hour before, I was getting sweaty. I was feeling irritable because of the heat and the fact that he was late.

When he arrived, my mood lifted, and we entered the joint. It was full of frat boys and sorority girls, already inebriated, despite the fact they only served Bud Light. Everyone was clad in the orange and purple regalia of the Clemson Tigers, the local college football team. Brad was my age and had graduated some years before, but it was clear he hadn’t gotten over that phase of his life. I found myself wondering if he still had flags up on his bedroom wall in the team colours, and if there was a letterman jacket hung in the wardrobe.

Although it wasn’t necessarily my cup of tea, and Brad wasn’t my usual type, I found the experience eye-opening and rather endearing. After all, when you think of American youths, you no doubt picture this exact scene. The saving grace for me, however, was discovering what he did for a living.

After some time talking about the Tigers and all the sports he enjoyed, Brad finally let slip that he now has a grown-up office job, working in the sales team for a hospitality booking site. I had tried to get into a top-rated Italian restaurant before I arrived in Charleston but had no joy. Might it be possible that Brad could help me get a reservation? Before I knew it, I had unashamedly asked him about the restaurant, and we’d made dinner plans for the next evening.

I awoke the next morning to a message from a different man I’d matched with, asking if I fancied a trip to Folly Beach. Having no car, I was somewhat restricted in terms of getting about and exploring places beyond the centre, so I decided to take him up on the offer.

We had been speaking for about two days prior, and in that time, I had learned that he supported Tottenham Hotspur and had a dog named Toro, or bull – and boy, did it live up to that name. As I walked up the path to his house, the dog came bounding towards me, almost knocking me off my feet. “She’s jealous of other women,” Cameron* informed me, in his unique southern droll.

It did strike me, while sitting in the passenger seat of his rattling car, flying down the freeway, that he might have been an axe murderer. But I reassured myself by thinking about the dog – after all, how many psychopaths do you know who have such an energetic, labrador-coded pooch?

The sea was calm, the sunlight playing hide and seek on its surface, as the gentle ripples became waves on the sandy shore. I took a deep breath and placed my towel down next to his, before shimmying out of my shorts and laying down in my swimming costume, stealing a glance at him as he peeled off his shirt.

Like most American guys, Cameron dropped me off at my door after our date. There was a pensive pause on the porch before I invited him in. We spent the rest of the day sharing salty kisses on the daybed until I suddenly remembered I had plans with Brad. I bolted upright and made some excuse as to why Cameron had to leave.

While the food was impeccable, I couldn’t concentrate on a single word that came out of Brad’s mouth that night. My mind kept drifting to Cameron. I knew I wanted to see him again.

We spent the week hanging out with his friends, visiting the nearby plantations and museums, going for walks in the park, and watching the sunsets from the ancient branches of the Angel Oak. When the time came for me to leave for Savannah, Cameron asked if he could join me – and I said yes.

The days spent alone in Savannah gave me room to think about this interaction. It is rare for me to get swept up in feelings so early on and besides our tastes in music, food and dive bars, there was really little connecting us. And yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was fate that led me to him.

Cameron arrived on Friday, and we slowly walked down to the river. We took our Moscow Mules to Ellis Square and perched on a bench, soaking up the atmosphere and the warm evening air. I told him why I’d come to America, and he told me about his past.

In that moment, however improbable, I realised I was falling in love with him. Our time together was limited, yes, but the connection was real nonetheless. It didn’t matter to me that we didn’t have a future; what mattered was that he served me exactly how he needed to at that stage of my life. His affection was the kindest gift I had received in a long time, and I fully opened myself up to it.

Saying goodbye was hard, but we both took little souvenirs from our time together – on our last day, we got tattoos. He added to his sizeable collection and then provided moral support as I got my first ink. He gave me a handcrafted trinket box he’d made out of wood and I added a little sketch of us in his notebook, depicting our stretched limbs and interlaced fingers on the beach. We may no longer harbour such feelings for one another, but our adoration and admiration remain. Sometimes the best experiences in life aren’t everlasting, but their effects on you are.

Top tips for dating abroad

• Change your location ahead of time so you can arrange dates in advance – this will save you time when you get there
• Make it clear that you are from a different country/location, and how long you’re staying in the area – it’s not only good for them to know what they’re getting into, but sometimes it can improve your appeal (think Love Actually, without the bed-sharing and January Jones)
• Outline the places you want to see and things you want to do – they may advise you against a certain experience, or wish to give you a local tour
• If you are sensitive around certain political or social issues, try and broach the topic in advance so you know you’ll feel comfortable on the date – when I visited America, there was a lot of debate around abortion rights and gun control (even more so than usual), and so I wanted to get an idea of their stance on those matters before I met up with them
• Always get recommendations from your matches, even if you don’t meet up – it’s always handy to get a local’s perspective on things and find out where the less touristy spots are
• Always meet in a public place when seeing each other for the first time
• Always tell a friend or family member your plans and send them locations where possible – they might not be in the country or even on the same time, but it’s important you prioritise safety
• Don’t go into it thinking you’re going to meet your soulmate – realistically, these dates will be very casual
• That said, be open to new experiences – just because it isn’t a forever thing, doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. It gives you more scope to try new things and meet different types of people

*names changed