Jimmy Kimmel Makes Fun of Trump “ ALL-CAPS”ing His Pants Over Arrest

Three days have passed since Tuesday, the day Donald Trump said he would be arrested, but the former president is still at large. But Jimmy Kimmel asserts that The Donald’s “time is running out,” regardless of his readiness.

“Trump’s attorneys reportedly advised him that if he is indicted in New York, he should be prepared to lose,” Kimmel told Thursday night’s audience. Which means he will spend the next three years claiming victory. And while the grand jury is on recess until next week, which means that #IndictmentWatch will have to wait until they reconvene, Kimmel does not believe that Trump is resting easy in the midst of the silence.

“Make no mistake about it,” said the late-night host, “Trump is ALL CAPS about this.” Today, he demanded the removal of every top official conducting an investigation into him, including special counsel Jack Smith, the Atlanta district attorney, New York Attorney General Letitia James, and Manhattan district attorney Alvin Bragg. Kimmel adores the fact that the man who could ultimately dethrone Trump is named “Bragg.”

This week appears to have brought about a different, more frantic version of Trump, which is certainly not a positive development. His new target appears to be his longtime attorney and fixer, Michael Cohen, who was sentenced to three years in prison for doing Trump’s bidding.

“This guy truly believes that the country will fight a civil war on his behalf because of his golf course porno-boner party that night.”