TOPEKA, Kan. (WIBW) – Many struggle with mental health over the holiday season, whether it’s the stress of getting everything done or missing those who are no longer with us.
Where missing loved ones is challenging, there are ways to take hold of those emotions before they begin.
Health Promotion Specialist for Valeo, Nicole Passafume, enjoys working with people who are experiencing mental health concerns, as she has experienced her own.
“My youngest daughter died on December 13,” said Passafume. “So, yeah this time of year is really hard for people who have lost a loved one.”
Passafume said it can be especially difficult to balance the holidays and your grief if you don’t have a hold on your life.
“For me, I have found that some years are easier than others and it depends largely on what’s going on in my life,” said Passafume. “If I’m having a rough year or there’s just a lot going on or it’s chaotic and I have not taken the time to do some self care — it is harder for me.”
Nicole found ways that worked for her.
Giving more than she receives is something that helps her to tackle her emotions and not become overwhelmed with the things she cannot control.
“To have certain things that stay the same, to be able to do something in her name — to be able to know that I can’t do this for her, but I might be able to do this for someone else — It gives me something to look forward to,” said Passafume.
Nicole’s experiences allow her to guide others in an environment that does not feel pressured or forced.
“It’s not cookie cutter — nothings going to work for everybody,” said Passafume. “But, being open to that experience and just knowing this other person has gone through this too is so helpful and so empowering to know that you’re not alone — it is not just you.”
CEO of Valeo Behavioral Health Care, Bill Persinger said that at some point, you have to put yourself first.
“We get so busy we don’t stop to take time for ourselves, so I’m going to invite people to take a selfish moment. Make a list, set your goals that are achievable, avoid family triggering events, don’t try to bring up the past a whole lot, and don’t try to solve the families problems or the worlds problems — just keep it light. Don’t over-function, try not to over-function,” said Persinger. “In layman’s terms, don’t bite off more than you can chew.”
People experiencing grief are invited to come together at the Blue Christmas Worship Service held on Wednesday December 13 at 6 p.m. at First Presbyterian Church of Topeka in the sanctuary and online.
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