That sums up my trip earlier this summer to a Cookstown restaurant I absolutely loved the last time I ate in it, but sadly this visit was like a trip to an alternate dimension of culinary calamity.
Villa Vinci was much too cramped, with little space between tables, no hope of a private conversation and a real risk of toppling someone any time I tried to move my chair.
Social distancing afforded people a bit more space not so long ago, so the closeness of the seating felt even more pronounced than perhaps it might have done previously.
There were actually a few nice design touches, but as I tried to look around, I always found myself eyeballing other diners in every direction.
The service — and I use the word ‘service’ very loosely — was appalling. Apart from taking our order, not once were we checked upon or offered any service. There was just a stealthy swoop in to collect our plates after each course.
Gamberoni piccante
The bread on one of our starters had been burnt to a dark black and was rock solid. It was also covered in a sea of sauce, as if to try and hide the cremated catastrophe.
After biting through one piece, I realised my teeth would never survive a second, so I mischievously left it standing upright on my plate to see if the server would query it, but there was not a mention as our ninja-like server grabbed the plates, so I pointed it out.
I got an “Oh, I will mention it to the chef”, and that was the last I ever heard of it.
I would honestly be embarrassed to burn something so badly at home, and I certainly would not expect anyone to eat it, let alone pay for it.
The food was pretty disappointing, and that disappointment was heightened by the poor experience overall.
The pizza dough starter was beyond bland and had the texture of a frozen pizza.
The salmon tagliatelle I got would have been okay if I had ordered a pasta dish in a pub, but in an authentic Mediterranean restaurant, where the dishes’ names are all given on the menu in Italian, I would expect fantastic, freshly made pasta. This certainly didn’t deliver.
Villa Vinci in Cookstown
Now to the positives, which I am struggling with. Although recent reviews on TripAdvisor show some diners have loved their visits, I was unimpressed by the whole experience.
My dining partner enjoyed their chicken main, which came with a very strongly flavoured tomato and mushroom sauce. It wasn’t to my taste, but I wasn’t the one eating it.
The sides were great. There were skin-on chips and a little ciabatta loaf oozing with garlic butter that was very good, apart from a very burnt corner.
Apart from this, it was without doubt the worst meal I have had in a few years.
Villa Vinci 44 Loy Street Cookstown
The food
Total £58.35