DEAR ABBY: Is it normal to be disgusted by your wife’s lack of concern about her appearance and her belongings? My wife drives a $50,000 car that never gets washed and is so filled with “stuff” that seldom can she take even one passenger.

Her side of the bedroom is just as bad. She never makes the bed and can no longer get to her dresser because there are so many clothes piled in front of it. It’s the same down the hall. In addition to plowing things aside or piling them in a spare room, her messes take over the house.

She also doesn’t take care of herself. She often doesn’t shower for days. Her clothes are frumpy, and I can no longer count how many pounds she keeps adding. It is embarrassing for me, especially when she proclaims she “will never be concerned about her weight again.” I feel it’s disrespectful to me when she says those things, and I can’t let this continue. I am supposed to get used to it? It doesn’t seem right.