It’s Halloween, which means kids will soon be bouncing off of the walls revved up on candy and adults get to do something a bit too daft one last time this year. There are a bunch of folks out there with cars that already fit the occasion. One of them is the case of one unfortunate Florida Man™, who decided to make his Chevrolet Silverado look like a U.S. Customs and Border Protection truck, only it was something way more silly. His ‘Booty Patrol’ truck has caused a stir with law enforcement. Turns out, this is a common thing all over America. All of it is ridiculous and we can’t stop looking at it.

I’ve often said that once I get old, I want to become a local news anchor. Sometimes, local news gets patently ludicrous, yet the journalists and anchors take each story with the kind of gravitas you see in a court trial. That takes some serious professionalism and I applaud local news teams for it. I say that because if the story of Gabriel Luviano of Bradenton, Florida rolled across my desk, I’d be sitting there crying laughing as I am right now.

This story, which is beginning to blow up around the net, was sent in by a reader who goes by “B.” Thanks B! Everything you’re about to read is dumb, so kick back and laugh with us on this Tuesday morning.

At midnight, Florida’s NBC2 News published a super serious story. According to the station, 18-year-old Gabriel Luviano of Bradenton, Florida was pulled over by police for his ‘Booty Patrol’ Chevrolet Silverado 1500 LT. The DeSoto County Sheriff’s Office saw his truck as no laughing matter. According to NBC2 News, the traffic stop ended after Luviano was cited for displaying lights in his wheels and for having red and blue lights. Florida Statute 316.2397 is pretty clear that you cannot run a civilian car with red and blue lights:

A person may not drive or move or cause to be moved any vehicle or equipment upon any highway within this state with any lamp or device thereon showing or displaying a red, red and white, or blue light visible from directly in front thereof except for certain vehicles provided in this section.

According to NBC2 News, Luviano’s citation is just $113, which seems like a cheap lesson to learn about what colors of lights you can and cannot run. A simple switch to amber lights will correct that issue.

However, the police aren’t done, and they want to know if Luviano has been impersonating a law enforcement officer, from the DeSoto County Sheriff’s Office:

The DeSoto County Sheriff’s Office is reaching out to raise awareness about a vehicle equipped with red and blue lights that has been impersonating law enforcement, and it’s not just happening here in DeSoto County, but in several other counties across Florida as well.

The vehicle is a white, Chevy Silverado with green decals. The license plate tag is H05F41.
If you or anyone you know has been pulled over by this suspicious vehicle or has any information related to these incidents, please do not hesitate to reach out to the DeSoto County Sheriff’s Office Criminal Investigative Division, at 863-993-4700.

Your cooperation is crucial in helping us address this issue and ensuring the safety of our community.

NBC2 News has a whole video about this and you have to watch it for the full effect. One anchor says “…his white Chevy truck outfitted with white and blue flashing lights. Even has decals that make it look like a U.S. Border Patrol vehicle. But instead of saying ‘Border Patrol,’ it says ‘Booty Patrol.’” The other anchor concurs as they say “yeah, big difference.” The delivery of these statements is gold.

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Luviano says he’s just trying to make people laugh and he isn’t pulling people over or using the lights outside of car shows. Gage Goulding, the journalist behind this story, interviewed Luviano to see why this truck exists:

Gage: “Was your intention in building this truck to make it look like you’re impersonating a police officer?”

Gabriel: “No. It wasn’t. It was just to have a little fun, you know? It was never my intent to pull over people or nothing. I mean the truck alone was like $7,500,” he said. “Everything else, like another $5,000. I was just bored, you know? And I just decided on that.”

Goulding clarifies that the $7,500 was just for the decals. The $5,000 was spent on a bright lighting package including RGB wheel lights and presumably the red and blue lights. The interview continues:

Gage: “That’s a lot of money just to be bored.”

Gabriel: “Yeah, I know man. But just to have fun, you know?”

Luviano alleges that some police loved the truck, from NBC2: “I have videos of cops coming up to me and they just want a picture.” However, he later notes that while a lot of folks dig the truck, many hate it. I get that. If you don’t see the “Booty Patrol” decals on the truck, you might think it’s a real Border Patrol truck. I’m sure for some people out there that’s more than just unsettling. Those people aren’t laughing at this.

It doesn’t sound like Luviano is trying to be a cop but perhaps he took a joke too far. Luviano is not exactly the infamous Jeremy Dewitte, another Florida Man™ who has been jailed multiple times for impersonating an officer for more than 20 years now.

The incredible thing about this is that Luviano isn’t even doing anything new.

It seems like every other state has its variation of the ‘Booty Patrol’ car. Since 2021, Jacob McGennis out in San Diego has been driving a Ford F-150 Raptor (above) that also looks like a Border Patrol truck, but that one says ‘Thot Patrol.’ The truck even has a cringy website complete with merch and decal kits for various vehicles.

Scroll through Instagram and you’ll find more interpretations of this idea from a person with a bagged Infiniti in Connecticut:

To a Crown Victoria in Hawai’i, complete with a “CLAP EM” license plate:

There’s another Booty Patrol in Michigan, another in California, one in Utah, the list goes on. Since McGennis of the ‘Thot Patrol’ truck sells decals to make your own, it’s unsurprising that variations of it have been seen elsewhere, like in my state of Illinois. He also sells a decal pack to turn various vehicles into a “Simp Prevention Vehicle.” As I said, it’s all a bit silly with a dash of cringe.

At any rate, maybe Luviano will rid his truck of the reds and blues so the truck’s more legal. At the very least, ensure people know the truck is a joke. Though, I suppose if there’s any day you should be silly with your car, it’s today!

I leave you with some comments Jason made this morning:

“Imagine giving your boss a ride to the airport and they walk out and see that. “”I take my booty patrolling very seriously, sir. Before I get you to the terminal, I have a report on some booty I need to look into, it’ll only be a second.”” (flips on lights and siren)

This morning we all had a debate in our team’s Slack about whether this is too immature, too silly, or maybe even misogynistic [Ed Note: I was against this post. -DT]. What do you think? Are these people going too far, or is it just some car fun?