ILLUSTRATION BY ALEX GREEN

Some names mean something. Gleneagles means something. Rolling countryside, whisky, George W Bush falling off his bike at the G8 summit. To me it mainly means golf, which mainly means boredom. But still, some names mean something, and the challenge every custodian of such a name faces is how to cash in without diminishing that.

It’s risky, but there’s gold in them hills for those who pull it off. So everyone ends up trying. Step forward the Gleneagles Townhouse in Edinburgh, a 43-mile golf buggy ride from the mother ship in Auchterarder, the hotel where Rod Stewart just left a £10,000 tip. Fair warning: it’s a private members’ club. I was a bit confused by this — my instinct was that the Scots are