Joan (ITV1) | ITVX
Industry BBC One | iPlayer
Nobody Wants This (Netflix)
Heartstopper (Netflix)
You can usually tell if a 1980s drama has got the ambience right: it remembers to stir in just enough of the 1970s, which lingered throughout the decade like a gas leak.
Joan, the new ITV1 drama, based on the 2002 memoir of notorious 80s jewel thief Joan Hannington, does just that. So, yes, there’s Wham!, ABC and lopsided Human League hair. Joan (Sophie Turner from Game of Thrones) exudes brittle peroxide glamour in the opening scene at a vanity table (despite a lattice of scarring on her back). But there’s also a whiff of the previous decade: in the streets, the pubs, the men. Joan’s jeweller boss is a mouth-breather with wandering hands and 70s-newsreader hair. It’s in his shop Joan impulsively swallows diamonds. How she retrieves them involves a sieve, a glass bowl, and … well, just be thankful the camera pans away.
Created by Anna Symon, co-written with Helen Black (who co-wrote the second series of Jimmy McGovern’s Time), the opening two episodes of six are busy and daring. Turner is magnificent as the loving single mother, battered by her criminal ex, who tearfully hands over her child to foster care to protect her from gangsters.
Then, there’s her mercurial side (“None of your bloody chaos, I mean it, Joan”), a firestarter who becomes entangled with spivvy antiques dealer Boisie (Frank Dillane, all backstreet charisma and slicked back hair). They have sexual chemistry for days, but it’s their misfit-energy that binds them. Off they fly to Spain with false passports, and sparklers to fence.
While it covers similar ground to The Gold (BBC One’s 2023 drama about the 1983 Brink’s Mat robbery), Joan isn’t quite that: for one thing, some of the exposition can be wincingly heavy-handed (“Are you sure you can afford to stay in a hostel until you get paid?”). However, so far, so glamorous, lively and gritty.
I’ve long rated Konrad Kay and Mickey Down’s Industry, the nihilistic financial-district saga set at Pierpoint, featuring young people rotting from the inside out on a diet of greed, duplicity and cortisol. Still, BBC One’s new, third series is truly jaw-dropping.
Marisa Arbela (fresh from Amy Winehouse biopic Back to Black) returns as Yasmin, the doomed heiress, starting the series with her dissolute embezzler father missing, and paparazzi in pursuit. There’s also Robert (Harry Lawtey), the working-class pulse of the show, and Harper (Myha’la), humbled (or maybe not) after her sacking last series. With Pierpoint stumbling, macho-throwback Rishi (Sagar Radia) is given his own brutal ride of an episode. Eric (Ken Leung) is now a partner, divorced, and gruesomely sleazy. One woman hisses: “Can I make something crystal for you, honey – you’re an old man”.
Kit Harington, the second of this week’s Game of Thrones alumni, portrays the mischievously named Henry Muck, an aristo tech-bro whose company, Lumi, grandly promises ethical energy to the masses. Initially a bit leaden, Harington’s performance evolves into a fine turn (equal parts entitled, needy and numb).
Elsewhere, haring through eight high-octane episodes, it’s a pitiless whirl of disaster, disintegration, tragedy, jaded asides (“We’re all just chimps in a hierarchy”), vicious put-downs (“You look like a TM Lewin wanker”), sexual kinks (including urine: “Piss and think of England”), and unsubtle swipes at corporate ethical eco-hypocrisy (“Poster children for a new kind of capitalism”).
Regular Industry viewers probably won’t be surprised that there’s a fight between Yasmin and Harper, culminating in slaps. As I suspected – millennial Dynasty. Though, in all seriousness, it isn’t. The writing and performances here are the equal of Succession and The White Lotus. Industry has always been a good (sharp, audacious) show. Now it’s great.
Nobody Wants This is a new romcom sitcom sashaying up a storm on Netflix. Created by Erin Foster, it stars Adam Brody as “hot rabbi” Noah, and Kristen Bell as Joanne, a non-Jewish woman who hosts a sex podcast with her sister, Morgan. They fall for each other, but not everyone is happy about it (“Now you explain to me how this woman got her claws into my beautiful, beautiful son”). Noah can’t become head rabbi unless Joanne converts, and his ex-girlfriend lurks like a bad fairy.
Nobody Wants This feels very classic (with that When Harry Met Sally talky quality), but it also nudges boundaries (“Your little blond friend who can’t stop talking about ass play on her podcast”). Over 10 episodes, the initially bumpy relationship (“You can’t friend-zone me because I already friend-zoned you”) is tested in a temple, in a sex shop, at a batmitzvah, and at a Judaism camp where Joanne is slammed by teenagers (“You girls harshly judging me actually helped”).
It’s not perfect: the opener is clunky and the podcast element could be funnier. Still, it’s witty and naughty (“Are all guys medically stupid?”) and the huge cast, including Veep’s Timothy Simons, are uniformly excellent (Lupe is a riot as snarky Morgan). Colin From Accounts just got itself some competition.
Also on Netflix, Alice Oseman’s Heartstopper returns for a third eight-part series. The hit drama about a relationship between teenage boys, Charlie (Joe Locke) and Nick (Kit Connor), still wields sweetness as its superpower: peak-mushy texting rallies; the signature cartoon graphics (butterflies; flowers); the now sixth form-aged cohort that includes a lesbian couple, a transgender girl, an asexual character and so on.
Heartstopper isn’t just about idealised teens, it’s about an idealised Britain. It’s the show where cynicism is crushed to death beneath an avalanche of Love Hearts sweets. However, this time, there’s also everything from prejudice to sexual awakening (Bail out now, if you want the characters sticking to holding hands and overdoing the emojis). Charlie’s eating disorder also comes to the fore, his turmoil (“Love can’t cure mental illness”) manifesting in dark, slashing graphics.
Olivia Colman (Nick’s mum) is awol, replaced with his aunt (Hayley Atwell); Eddie Marsan plays an insightful therapist. So, it’s business as usual, but rather more besides. Heartstopper seems determined to grow up.
Star ratings (out of five)
Joan ★★★★
Industry ★★★★★
Nobody Wants This ★★★★
Heartstopper ★★★★
What else I’m watching
Cast Away
(Channel 5)
Former This Morning presenter Phillip Schofield’s “comeback”: surviving on a desert island, while alluding to betrayal, toxicity and being thrown under the bus. I’m not convinced this was the best idea.
Where’s Wanda?
(Apple TV+)
Uber-quirky German comedy-drama about a couple who decide to investigate when their 17 year old daughter goes missing. Extremely offbeat and original.
Living Every Second: The Kris Hallenga Story
(BBC Two)
Documentary about the late breast cancer campaigner. First diagnosed in her early 20s, Hallenga died at the age of 38. She spent her life running her Coppafeel initiative, teaching women to check their breasts, Inspiring and poignant.