Holidays are a time for social and family gatherings. Though this is a time to celebrate with family and friends, for people struggling with addiction, this time of the year is one of the most challenging. 

“It is probably the biggest time of the year for people to experience a relapse,” said Lee Wright, community outreach manager for Cape Cod at BrightView Hyannis Addiction Treatment Center. “There’s so much exposure and triggers during the holidays, which makes it even easier to relapse.” 

According to Victoria Jenks, of Dennis, for people struggling with addiction, recovery time, especially early recovery is extremely hard. 

“Often you have to relearn how to socialize, how to talk to people, especially when family members or others may be upset with you,” said Jenks, who is now eight years sober and in long-term recovery. 

Jenks, 39, is now a BrightView patient service representative at the Hyannis center. Even though holidays are a tough time, according to her there are some tips people can follow for those struggling with addiction. 

Having a game plan

Having a plan in place before going to any gatherings is the most important, according to Wright. “Thinking through what they might do when offered drinks or other substances is essential, anyone struggling with addiction needs to be prepared beforehand to face situations like this,” said Wright. 

Bringing one’s own mode of transportation always helps, said Jenks. “Bringing your own car means you can leave whenever you need to leave, rather than depending on someone else,” she said. 

“Always bringing your own non-alcoholic beverages can help big time; that way a person who is struggling with drinking addiction won’t feel awkward while everyone else is drinking,” said Jenks.

Learning how to say no when offered drinks or other substances is also a powerful method, said Wright. 

“If you know that certain things or situations are just going to be too difficult to handle, you need to learn to say no and take care of yourself, rather than worrying about disappointing somebody,” said Wright. 

Surrounding yourself with supportive people

For Jenks, having a supportive family and friends was the most important part of her recovery. She strongly believes in the “power of example.” During gatherings, family and friends always had non-alcoholic beverages available to help her through it all. 

“Keeping people who understand what you’re going through, or having a friend be there for you or calling a friend whenever you need to during the holidays can go a long way,” said Jenks. 

“If things get intense, finding a quiet spot and calling up a sober friend can help and make sure to ask the friend beforehand if it’s OK to call if you’re having a tough time.”

According to Wright, staying in regular contact with friends who are already in recovery, whether it’s people from the AA meetings or with your sponsor, is recommended. 

“Something that often helps is to bookend a visit; talk to a friend who understands before walking into a party, and then talk again after so that the full support is around,” said Wright. 

Asking for help

“When you’re struggling with addiction and relapse issues, it is so hard to ask for help,” said Jenks. “Especially when you feel worthless and feel like people don’t care about you.”

Jenks started working at the treatment center to help people who are going through the same as she did years ago. 

“What really helped me was to meet new people who are going through what I’m going through, and to learn from them how to live on a daily basis, with grace and dignity,” she said. 

According to Wright, it is important for family members of a struggling person to know that addiction is a disease, it is not a choice. Family can also just be as supportive as possible in encouraging them to stay in treatment or to get in treatment, she said.

“Not to shame somebody if they mess up is a really important factor for recovery,” said Wright. 

Don’t skip a meeting or cancel an appointment

Though holidays are time to celebrate, it is equally important to continue ongoing treatments.  

“It is not the time to skip meetings or to cancel medical appointments and therapy sessions,” said Wright. 

While Jenks was in recovery, her dad passed away. It was two and a half years ago. Even though it was the most traumatic experience of her life, she didn’t relapse. 

“He was proud of me for not drinking and not doing drugs anymore, and that meant a lot,” said Jenks. 

“That was my biggest motivation to keep going, especially through the holidays, because I wouldn’t want to let him down.”

Rasheek Tabassum Mujib writes about health care and education. Reach her at[email protected].

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