[Editor’s Note: The Pointless is the Pointer’s annual satirical article. Pointless stories should not be taken seriously on April Fool’s Day or any other.]
UWSP will hold a Touch a Car contest on April 1 on the lawn of Old Main.
The winner of the contest will win one of the low-speed box vehicles that are often seen around campus, often casually referred to as the “toaster cars.” Many students want to drive the quirky cars in part because they are driven on the passenger side.
The contest is being put on as a fundraiser to buy 15 more pedal bikes for the university.
In addition to the vehicle, the winner will also receive a parking spot in front of every building. The pass will last for the next 87 years.
The chancellor will also provide food to those in the contest.
“For every 5 hours in the contest, those left will receive a complimentary walking taco from me,” said Chancellor Gibson on Friday.
The university also said that the event will happen regardless of any weather that may arise.
“If there is rain, sleet, tornadoes, flooding, catastrophic fires, earthquakes, hail, snow, ice, a polar vortex, hurricane, monsoon, typhoon, twister, or waterspout, the contest will continue. The show must go on,” said Stevie Pointer.
Please dress for the weather.
The University of Wisconsin – Stevens Point is not liable for injuries, illness, or other emergencies that may arise during the contest.
Wikimedia commons photo.
For those interested in registering in this once-in-a-lifetime contest, please scan the QR code.
Thanks to some of the Basement Brewhaus Employees for their help on this story!
It’s a great day to be a Pointer!!
Jack Orlando
News Reporter